


a few feet away.

by goldenpraetor



Category: Haikyuu!!, haikyuu
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:07:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25299595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldenpraetor/pseuds/goldenpraetor
Summary: Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a world where I was yours?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Bokuto Koutarou/Suzumeda Kaori
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	a few feet away.

_Was there a lifetime waiting for us_

_In a world where I was yours?_

**AKAASHI KEIJI** found himself standing a few feet away that day. A few feet away... just like he always did. For years, he'd stay a few feet behind, letting the golden-eyed man shine. It began that way, and it would forever remain that way.

Keiji stood there, fiddling with his hands as he watched the other constantly smoothing his suit down. His eyes met golden ones that lit up like the first rays of light that seeped through his bedroom curtains on lazy Saturdays.

The sight of him always left Keiji breathless, the way air gets knocked out of him whenever he beamed. He stared a moment too long, allowing himself to drown into eyes he fell in love with years ago. "Akaashi?"

Keiji quickly averts his eyes from Koutarou's golden ones, training them onto his fingers. He lets the bitter taste in his mouth linger for a little while, before offering the other a smile. "Congratulations, Bokuto-san." Keiji finally says. 

_Paper planes and porcelain_

_Smell of rain through the window pane_

_And the sight of you_

_Oh, you were a good dream_

**BOKUTO KOUTAROU** shined the brightest amongst everyone in a crowd. Well, at least that's what Keiji thought. To him, Bokuto Koutarou was the _brightest_ star— brighter than the stars _Sirius_ and _Canopus_. He shined and caught the attention of everyone in whatever he did, even more so now. 

It was Koutarou's day. The beginning of something beautiful. Oh, it was beautiful indeed… but deep down, Keiji had hoped the odds and circumstances to be entirely different from how they were now. Don’t get him wrong— it was truly an honour to be part of the beginning of something new, but Keiji couldn't help but long for himself to be the person who'd get to call the golden-eyed man _his_. 

"'Kaashi, how do I look? Is my hair okay? Oh! no no no no— what if she suddenly thinks I'm not the _awesomest_?! Akaashi— what if she doesn't like me anymore and says no?" His eyes, still as golden as ever, were wide as he began rambling frantically.

Keiji offers him a smile, and takes a few steps closer to pat his back. "She loves you for who you are, Bokuto-san. I assure you, she thinks you're the ' _awesomest_ '. Actually— I'm much more positive that she thinks you're so much more than that." 

The little pout on Koutarou's face disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. It reminded Keiji of all the times he'd be by the other's side, turning all his frowns upside down. He laughs, the black pit in his gut growing slowly, but surely. It was crushing him, but he laughs anyway. For the person he loved the most, he'd smile as long as it meant it would make the other happy.

He shakes his head slightly, shoving his thoughts and feelings away. He had a bride to walk with down the aisle, now wasn't the time to let his heart break. Now wasn't the time to cry. Not here, not now, never in front of him.

Keiji hesitates, but plasters a smile. "Good luck, Bokuto-san." 

_I was scared to lose you then_

_But secrets turn into regrets_

**SUZUMEDA** **KAORI** stood right outside the large wooden doors, hands fiddling with the embroidery of her white gown. Her heart was beating wildly, her cheeks probably burning a bright shade of red— probably as red as a tomato **.** She had never thought of any of this to ever happen, not when she knew of certain secrets Bokuto Koutarou had decided to leave unsaid. Not when she saw how Koutarou's looks used to linger for a second too long on a certain man.

"Kaori." A voice says, taking her mind off of her thoughts. "You look wonderful, as always." 

"Keiji," She whispers, smiling at the man. For the longest time, Kaori knew of the way Bokuto Koutarou had once looked at Akaashi. She knew of the feelings Bokuto Koutarou had suppressed for the sake of their friendship. She knew of the nights Koutarou cried himself to sleep, his heart breaking, shattering into pieces as it longed for his best friend. 

She knew about it all, and as much as her heart broke seeing one of her best friends’ heart break, it broke her heart even more when she had to bottle all her feelings up while the man she loved was already willing to give his heart away to someone who wasn’t _her_.

For years, Kaori had to watch the man she loved, love someone else and never have that love returned.

"Are you ready?" Akaashi asks, taking his place beside the bride, offering her his arm. "...You're uncharacteristically quiet. Is something bothering you?" 

Kaori looked up at him, about to answer him before the wooden doors were pushed open. In the sea of guests, Kaori's eyes landed on a certain gray-haired man, all dressed up. It made her heart skip a beat. 

Kaori looks back at the man who stood beside her and beams. "No, I'm alright. Just a little nervous, that's all. I mean, I _am_ getting married.”

_Buried feelings grow_

_Oh, you were a good dream_

Keiji looks down at the freckle-faced woman, holding his tears in. Whether it was from the impending heartbreak or pure happiness for the couple, he was no longer certain. 

The way she looked at Koutarou was the same way he's looked at him for _so_ long. Even with his now poor eyesight, Keiji could see the way Koutarou looked back at the woman he was walking with towards the altar. It was the look Keiji had hoped to call his— a look he can never have.

"You know," Kaori begins, voice soft to him as wedding bells and instruments began to play in the background. "I... I want to thank you, Keiji. For letting me have him." 

Keiji's brows furrowed the slightest in confusion. Although she had her eyes trained ahead, he was positive that she could see every expression he made. "For a very long time, Koutarou was irrevocably in love with you. He was so, _so_ in love with you, Keiji." 

She chuckles, bringing the bouquet of forget-me-nots and lilies closer to her. "Even _I_ was jealous of how much he loved you." 

Keiji looks at her, feeling his heart clench. "He loved you so much, he chose to keep it to himself because he didn't want to lose _you_ , his best friend. It hurt a lot back then, you know? It hurt to see him hurt. It hurt to see him pine over someone else. I didn't really think he'd spare me a glance, with the way he looked at you."

_Was there a lifetime waiting for us_

_In a world where I was yours?_

_Was it the wrong time, what if we tried_

_Giving in a little more?_

_To the warmth we had before_

It was like a knife to the heart, knowing that once, a long time ago, the love his heart badly yearned for could've been his if only he had said something— _anything_. 

Would Koutarou be his now if only he said something back then? Would he be the one saying the words 'I do' if he had told him how he truly felt? 

Keiji smiles a bittersweet smile, taking his place a few feet behind his best friends. He was witnessing a new chapter unfold in front of him, but his heart and mind was begging the gods to let him turn back a few pages.

She looks at him, eyes prickling with tears. She smiled brightly at him, " _Thank you_ , Keiji." 

_Tangled with another's eyes_

_Never mind, you were never mine_

_Glimpse of me and you_

_Oh, you were a good dream_

A few feet behind. That's how it would always be.

That was just how far he was back then from something his heart desired. If he had taken a few steps forward, would things be different now? _No_. He shouldn't think this way— he was _happy_. Happy for the both of them. 

Akaashi Keiji stood a few feet behind, watching his dream walk away from him. Keiji smiled, constantly reminding himself that he was happy. He was happy as long as Koutatou was happy.

From a few feet behind them, he heard them exchange their 'I Dos'. From a few feet behind them, he saw the way Koutarou's eyes lit up. They were _beautiful_ — as beautiful as ever.

_Was there a lifetime waiting for us_

_In a world where I was yours?_

_Was it the wrong time, what if we tried_

_Giving in a little more?_

Keiji could only watch the man he was in love with for the longest time give away his promise of forever. He could only laugh and smile, keeping the pain at bay as the newly wedded face the crowds. 

_Ah, that smile_. Keiji thought. He wondered... someday, in another life, would he beam as bright? Would he finally be the one beside Koutarou? 

In another lifetime, would he have the courage to finally tell him, ' _I love you_ '? Will he finally try? 

_I'd spend a lifetime waiting in vain_

_Just to go back to the way we were before_

_Was it the wrong time, what if we tried_

_Giving in a little more?_

_To the warmth we had before_

No matter how much he wanted to go back to how things were before, to the time when he still had the chance, he no longer could. There was no sense rereading a chapter everyone already left a long time ago. 

"Akaashi, thank you for being my best man!" 

"Thank you for everything, Keiji." 

Keiji stood a few feet away from the couple, willing himself to muster up the widest smile he could put on. 

He stood a few feet away, allowing himself to let go of the man he had loved for forever. A few feet away, as he watched the man he hoped to love again in another lifetime enter happily ever after with someone that could have been him if only he had tried. 

_Is there a lifetime waiting for us?_

_All this time, I have been yours_

Keiji stood a few feet away, heart bidding adieu to a love that could’ve been his.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello!! If you're reading this, then I want to thank you for reading this!! This one-shot is inspired by Sol's [@bentoastyy] art on Twitter, and the song 'Lifetime' by Ben&Ben. (Go check them out!)
> 
> The art: https://twitter.com/bentoastyy/status/1270400486160523267?s=20  
> The song: https://open.spotify.com/album/277CpjwmcdLZsHwXpj9D8H?highlight=spotify:track:3X9c4tBzSdGhlO4Fx3WYgW


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